After growing up in an enviorment that was just completely unacceptable to me. I have a hard time seeing things from the same point of view as my peers who accept their abusive backgrounds as normal. Well, I don't really think they see it as normal. Its just what their use to and they don't get past get. I have many childhood friends and some come from really messed up upbringings. Some whom pass this same way of thinking and patterns on to their children placing them in unhealthy situations.
I have a friend thats begrudging me now because she feels I'm such a moral orel. Its said she doesn't get that I didn't choose to follow my family patterns and she has that chose too. I'm learning that sometimes its much easier for people to go the negative route in life that to follow the positive.
Shes angry with me because of my lack of support of her. I choose not to support things that just seem so redundant to me. Also, I will speak my mind in any given situation and won't tell you what you want to here. She has known me long enough to know what I would say.
I've loved her children like they were my own and have taken them in when she couldn't care for them. It hurts me to see what she has come to be as a parent. The lack of protection and care given to her children throughout the years is ridiculous. Everyone has tried to help them but, DCFS always fails. The only reason I keep in contact with her is because of the children. Their like my neices and nephew.
It angers me that she would invite men into her home telling her kids this is your daddy and forcing them to call him that. I wanted to cry when one day her daughters told her a year after her last relationship was over they were molested. I was not really surpried. Shes now allowing her 16 year old date a 23 year old man she has been with since 15 and done nothing. It seems like shes pimping her own daughter out because she benefits from her having an older man. The latest is her brother whom molested her son. She never pressed charges there either. He is in jail facing murder charges for helping gang members hide a gun before and after shooting an innocent little girl while firing at a rival gang. Shes mad at me because I don't support the decision that shes taking food out of her kids mouth to support her brother by helping him get an attorney. He has been in trouble in the past but, shes in denial. She always has him around her children.
I know that her family is dysfunctional and she just doesn't get it. Its just a sad situation when you see people you love that can't see. She knows me and my views but, I don't think she gets me. I'm the weird one. I could never support my abusers. When it comes to my children there is no way any family member that hurt them will be a part of their lives.
Though I've left my personal past behind. I am still haunted by my past through other people in my life. I don't agree with what shes doing to her children because I've been there. Its funny how things come back full circle. I have been narrowing down and getting rid of the hauntings. I need to keep my life on task.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
It is tough to watch those we love and care about go about continued self destruction...but I am so glad that you are an example.
ReplyDeleteI had a very similar friend T and had to finally break it off for good. DHS let them down too. It's sad for the little children who just keep trying to trust their mommies to take good care of them and are then let down again and again by the adults they should have a right to trust. You are a great person, woman, mom, and friend.
ReplyDeleteyou are not the weird one, you are the survivor that chose to break that cycle and do better for yourself and your family. kudos to you for that, it isn't easy. i hate that her kids are having to suffer through all of that, that is so sad.
ReplyDelete