The Little Girl Whom Love Wasn't Enough

Born female to an unwed mother and wayward father. The little girl and her mother lived with her grandmother and step grandfather from her birth. All she ever heard was fighting and nagging as she suck on her bottle from her crib. Never feeling secure or loved. Her mother didn't hold her alot and was very irresponsible. One day placing her on the bed and she rolled off hitting her tender head. It caused two life long scars on her forehead.
Her mother and grandmother always argued and never got along. The stepgrandfather was strung out on drugs and noone seemed to care.

Two years go by and her mother gets married. They move away to a new apartment. Things seem good for a while besides the mother being too lazy to feed the little girl. So her new stepdad argues and complains that she needs to get out the bed and take care of her. He starts to take up time with the little girl by taking her out every weekend for breakfast at Woolworths. She enjoyed their special time together and she even got a new toy. After a while things weren't going too well at home. The Mother and step Dad started to fight a lot. One day the little girl saw the fight and he hit her mothers' head on the lock of the front door. She begain to bleed everywhere. He left the house. The little girl starts to clean up the blood and comfort her mother. Things get quiet for a while and seemed to be better. Her mother starts to take her outside to play. Until one day two boys are riding fast on their bike and couldn't stop hitting the little girl. Her mother laughs as she screams from the pain of her bruises. The little girl wonders why her mother is laughing at her. She didn't laugh when she was in pain.

A few years pass and the girl is now five. Her mother and stepfather gets a divorce. He still tries to come around and they still fight and argue. The little girl starts to go to her grandparents house every weekend. They would do things with her like going to the park and out to eat. She would even go with her grandfather to buy his drugs. He always had a lot of cool friends but, she didn't understand why they all used the bathroom at the same time leaving blood on the sink. That was a mystery. She eventually knew where every drug house was located and who family members were on it. She learned they used needles and heroine.

Things back at home were sad and her mother cried alot. She begain to hang out with her friends leaving the girl home alone at a young age. The little girl would get hungry and scared calling her grandparents. When her mother found out she would spank her and tell her she was keeping up drama with her grandmother. Her grandmother and mother fought more and more making the little girl sad and depressed. The grandmother would come over and physicaly attack the mother. It made the little girl scared to tell her about anything going on at home. Who could she talk to now?? The grandmother would start to bribe info from her. The mother started dating and bringing home a lot of diffrent boyfriends that never acknowledged the girl. They lived in an efficiency apartment so, while the mom had the privacy of french doors the girl slept on a roll a way bed in the living room. Her mother and her male guest would tip toe naked past the girl. Thinking she was asleep and wouldn't see them.
She would get up for school in the mornings unable to eat breakfast at home because her mother had company. She was told to eat at school. Most days her mother got her up to go to the liquor store before school to buy her cigarretts, tops, and a newspaper. The streets would be empty, quiet, and scary. Due to her mothers' smoking their house always smelled of Marijuana and cigarretts. The girl hated that the smell stayed in her clothes.

In 3rd grade the girl seemed to not make friends and was very distracted always daydreaming in class. The teacher felt something was wrong and the girl talked a little. The school referred her family to therapy. They quit after the first day because the therapist told them they were the little girls problem. The little girl was yelled at and blamed for having to be the one to make them see the therapist that didn't know what she was talking about.

Things didn't change but, was worst. The summer came and the mothers' new boyfriend moved in. The little girl had to stay outside all day. Only going in to use the bathroom. Never eating lunch. She made a friend in the apartment building next door. She was fun and her parents were nice too. Her mom worked and her dad was home during the day. The dad started inviting the girl in for snack and lunch. Always giving them money for the candy store. He started to play games with them. Their favorite was house. One day he started to show them how a husband and wife have sex. After this day he always wanted to play house. The little girl thought it was ok because her mother did that all the time. She would watch her mother through the skeleton key hole of the french doors sometimes. So it must be ok. During this time the little girl spent a lot of time with her Mothers' best friend kids. Most where older and one of them liked playing house too. The little girl just thought it was weird because there were two mommies but, we can pretend. Until during the night she was putting her hands down the little girl pants she felt very uncomfortable. The girl swore her to never tell.

Her friend next door stopped playing with her. The friends' cousins teased the little girl saying "we know what you did your a nasty girl." Shame came over the little girls face. She thought what did she do wrong. The girl stopped going over the friends' house after that but, the dad would stalk her after school telling her to come over and play with him. It started to get uncomfortable but, she never told anyone. He was always around watching her but, she stayed away.

At about age nine she started to spend more time with her grandparents eventually living with them by age ten. Time went by, her grandfathers drug use got worst and so did her mother. They could never have a family function withought fights and arguements. The mother called and visited the girl less and less. During this time the stepfather was back in the girls life. He had always been off and on. He would take her shopping and out to eat. This too did pass. When the girl turned about 13 she was feeling abandoned. Things were ok at the grandparents sometimes but, the verbal abuse was beginning to become very harsh. She couldn't do anything right and was constantly compared to her no good mother. The grandmother started to fight the girl until she fought back. The grandfathers drug abuse begain to be a problem in the home. The girl was forced to listen to her grandmothers bickering about her mother and grandfather. She had too many burdens to carry. So, she ran away. Many nights she walked the streets or stayed at a friends' house. She called united way for help but, they told her she would be better off at home than a shelter for teens. Noone believed her anyway. The girl tried to commit suicide several times but, was unsuccessful in her attempts. She was really becoming depressed. Though for some she had to put on her fake face hiding behind the truth.

Finally one day at age 16 she moved in with her mother. She had a new boyfriend who seemed very nice. He had a son that came there to live too. They shared a lot of the same issues so they really felt like siblings and got along great. Things were good for a while. Then the boyfriend started using drugs and the mother turned into a monster. His son moved out and that left the girl. She had to take everything from everyone. One day the mother wanted her to wash the dishes and not one belonged to the girl. They all belonged to the boyfriend so she asked why can't he wash them. The mother started to preach about how nice he was to to the girl. She said she wasn't doing the dishes. So, the mother jumped on her grabbing her neck choking her. The girl took her and flung her off hitting the mothers' head on the cabinet. She started to bleed and told the girl to leave.

So, she left going back to her grandparents. Things just kept getting worst from there. The grandmother accused the girl of all types of wrong doing when in reality she was a good kid just needing support and trying to find her way. She was a great basketball player but, noone ever came to watch her play. The girl still didn't engage in risky behavior but, was on the path of looking for love in the wrong places. She did graduate from high school having a baby at age 18. Eventually moving out and putting some distance between her family at 19.