Monday, September 1, 2014
It's hard having anxiety and working hard to put yourself out there only to be ignored. Yes, I talk to people and can hold a conversation. I have done this plenty of times. There is never a spark of friendship with me. People will talk to me, greet me, and even be nice to me, but never friend me. It really makes you wonder what is wrong with me?? You feel like you've said or done something wrong. You see the friendships around you cultivate and your still left standing alone. I'm always the invisible person that no one ever sees. I'll admit it takes a little more to get to know me and maybe because I want to have a sense of trust in that person. Maybe I'm asking too much?? Often I feel maybe people think they have nothing in common with me and I don't enjoy much. I enjoy a lot of things, that is maybe no interest to them. I love road trips and seeing this beautiful world we live in. I have a thrill seeking side that loves roller coasters. The nerdy part of me loves museums and learning about different cultures. I'm family oriented and enjoy a lot of things I can do with my kids. I like romance and would love to take romantic getaways with my husband. Maybe I lack depth and substance for some people. I don't have a professional demeanor, but I know and understand a lot. There are things people don't know about me like my giving spirit and how great of a listener I am. My willingness to help and to listen to the problems of others even when my own life is in chambles. I've always been a supportive friend, but never seem to get it in return. I still treat people with the respect even when they don't deserve it. Though it's hard sometimes, I pray for those that hurt me. Sometime I want to be like others when it comes to having close relationships with others. This leaves me feeling very lonely at times. I want good quality friendships. People to accept me for me even though I'm flawed. Don't judge me on my shortcomings. Like or love me for who I am and accept me as I am.